Dilemma

Dont take yourself seriously, no one else does :P :P
Now thats an awesome saying that i read the other day. But these days, there is a battle going on in my mind. With the respect to the ones which we wage day in day out, this is something which is much more dangerous and more tiring than others. With the constant gnawing on my head and heart, this dilemma (spell check done from MS Word)is making life less peaceful.
Job or Business ??? Now come on some may say, why work for someone else when you can do something on your own. But, here too there is not much on my own. Though entrepreneur sounds like an amazing word, it surely has a lot to it than just making it big. For every successful one there are thousands who failed. For the thousands who failed there would be millions who thought but didnt try. And i surely dont want to end up in that basket. I am sure of myself when it comes to marketing the SG based company's online portal. But now when i am supposed to design, modify and even work on new un-decided projects at Suntrack, it is going to be one different ball game. From those 5 star hotel stays and those wonderful corporate look, i now decide to enter the unorganised and the less professional sector of family business. Less than family business it is more of a 2 man army. The 2 men in contention happen to be my father and his colleague both with the experiance of some 30 years in engg. What am i to add to their wealth of experiance, but learn from them and hope to reach higher than where they are today.
Leaving the luxuries of a fixed salary and less botheration at the end of each month, i now enter an arena where i would have to make my worth felt. My brains would be tested and so also my presence of mind. My salary cant be taken for granted and my growth not in someone's end. My work, my beliefs and my horizons have to widen. I would be entrepreneur and i ought to think like one. What the fck does that mean ?? well, possibly just that for once, i would have to put in practice real out of box thinking to lead the company to more pastures and greener grasslands. It would be obvious that i would have to expand the company and the reach to more areas. Areas, unexplored and where the ball would be than where it is today.

But, then i would be leaving behind an entire pie waiting to be explored. It would be more than anything a very wonderful learning that i would be leaving behind. One thing certain that i surely didnt get the best rating just like that. I if at all get one, would be after several discussions and convincing on my part. How i wish, i could have performed better and also got a boss unlike mine :P. On a more serious note, the small 1 yr stint here taught me patience. Appraisal or not, it is more of the learning that i take to my own business. The feeling of it being own. Now thats something to ponder :)

The dilemma may just be something superficial, but it is more of fear and the butterflies of getting into the unknown and the ability to be of use and be worthy of the pay that i receive.

"Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But dont worry, God doesnt blink"